Angelina’s Crazy Knife Sex
Before I start this article–mom turn your head away now.
When I want to spice up my sex life I’ll usually go to buy a nice little negligee, or maybe a video or a toy (I will also be practicing the techniques that Cele|bitchy put out earlier today–who says gossip blogs can’t be educational?). In my experience, that kind of stuff usually works and is harmless enough (ish).
Angelina Jolie, the woman who has been voted the Sexiest Woman Alive in countless of publications that sit next to my boyfriend’s bed, has a more risque approach. She uses knives during sex to cut herself or her partner.
Knives. In bed. With naked dangling body parts that can get hurt easily. In the words of my dear little sister who lives in Chicago: Bitch, please:
Here’s the article from English newspaper Metro on how she told OK! Magazine that sex got boring for her when she was all of fourteen years old, so she felt she needed to kick her sex life up a notch:
She said, “I had started having sex with my boyfriend and the sex and the emotions didn’t feel enough. I was no longer a little girl. In a moment of wanting to feel closer to my boyfriend I grabbed a knife and cut him. He cut me back. We had an exchange of something and we were covered in blood, my heart was racing. Then whenever I felt trapped, I’d cut myself. I have a lot of scars. It was an age when I felt adventurous and after a few beers things happened
Now I see what John Voight was trying to say when he said she needed “help”. Angelina, a word if I may: Sex is supposed to feel good; it’s not supposed to hurt! Spanking? Good, if not arousing if you aren’t smacked too hard. Pulling hair–it hurts sometimes, but again, mildy amusing. Taking a switchblade to your man like you’re trying to steal his wallet? NOT GOOD.
Poor Brad. He’s stuck with Elvira, Mistress of the Dark as his missus. I’m going to print that article now and slip it in my boyfriend’s magazines to watch him cringe and cross his legs for all he’s worth.
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