I have an embarrassing confession to make: I’ve never read a single Harry Potter book. I’ll wait while you throw heavy objects at me. Yes I know they’re wonderful, and I hate that kids spend so much time with their faces plastered to televisions, video games, and computers. Anything that gets kids ready is great to me. I’m just not into the fantasy/magical genre, and yes I get yelled at whenever it comes up. I know the general premise and have been forced to a few of the movies. I’ll just admit to all that now, in case I accidentally say something that’s just totally dumb, Harry Potter-wise.

J.K. Rowling gave a reading of “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince” at Carnegie Hall the other day, during which a reader asked her if Dumbledore would ever find love. She responded that Dumbledore was gay. That’s interesting, but it doesn’t really answer the question, does it?

Although suspected for some time by avid readers of her famously popular fantasy novels, J.K. Rowling has officially noted that master wizard and Headmaster of Hogwarts is a homosexual. The remarks came as Rowling spoke to a packed audience at Carnegie Hall, where she did a reading of parts of “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.” A fan asked if Albus Dumbledore would find love some day, to which Rowling replied: “Dumbledore is gay.”

She then explained that the wizard had been in love with rival Gellert Grindelwald, whom he defeated long ago in a battle between good and bad wizards. “Falling in love can blind us to an extent,” Rowling said of Dumbledore’s feelings, adding that Dumbledore was “horribly, terribly let down.” Speculation on Dumbledore’s sexual orientation has been debated among fans for years. Rowling added that while working on the planned sixth Potter film, “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince,” she spotted a reference in the script to a girl who once was of interest to Dumbledore. A note was duly passed to director David Yates, revealing the truth about the character.

[From the Daily News]

Is this going to cause the religious fundamentalists to boycott Harry Potter? I’m a little concerned. I didn’t realize there were so many levels and such subtlety to the books. Apparently when Rowling said Dumbledore was gay, there were gasps and applause. So you know, pretty much like most people’s coming out. Just on a slightly grander scale.

Picture note by Jaybird: Here’s J.K. Rowling at the “Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix” premiere on July 3, 2007 in London. Images thanks to PR Photos.

              

20 October 2007 | | No Comments

Yesterday Celebitchy reported that Amy Winehouse was arrested for pot possession in Norway. Turns out, the Scandinavian countries have absolutely no tolerance for the drug… and I have to say that – given that fact – it’d probably be a good idea for someone like Amy Winehouse to stay 100 miles away from all of them at all times. Just a thought. Amy was so out of it that the cops refused to interview her for several hours after the arrest. She was finally interviewed around 11pm, and then forced to stay in her jail cell overnight until she sobered up.

A source said: “They are very strict about drug taking in Norway. With her past record they thought there was more than just a couple of spliffs [I think this is British lingo for a joint]. When she opened the hotel room door it was obvious she was wasted. She was mumbling and no one could understand her. “Amy and Blake were put in separate cells but Amy couldn’t be interviewed straight away because she was totally incoherent.

“She was co-operative and even let an officer in training look in her eyes so he could recognize how a person high on drugs looks.” After a sleepless night Amy was released at 7am on paying a £240 fine. Blake and his mate were also fined and let out. The source said: “Amy asked the police to call her a cab. But they told her she should walk because the hotel was only around the corner so she made the walk of shame back. I don’t think she realized it was actually the hotel that shopped her.”

Amy recovered from her ordeal by ordering champagne in the hotel spa ahead of her gig in the city last night. She is due to return home next week to kick off her first UK tour since her overdose. Last night cops said she was free to leave Norway. Prosecutor Lars Lohte said: “That is the end of the matter.”

[From the Sun]

No one can really be surprised that when Amy Winehouse does even “soft” drugs she goes all out. I could joke that I’m impressed she was so wasted that she actually became a teaching device, but I’m not really shocked enough to care. Really, considering it was Amy Winehouse, the cops should have given her a medal for just doing pot. Something like the “Thanks for not shooting crack in your eyeball” award. Do they have those? They should have one commissioned just for Amy, and keep in on hand in case it happens again. At least she sobered up and then drank some champagne to calm her nerves.

              

20 October 2007 | | No Comments

Michael Douglas may lead a pretty charmed life with wife Catherine Zeta-Jones, but his adult son from his first marriage, Cameron, can’t quite say the same. He was found with liquid cocaine in his car in Santa Barbara and charged with being under the influence of a controlled substance and felony possession of a controlled substance. Didn’t he watch his dad in “Traffic?”

Cameron Douglas, 28, the son of actor Michael Douglas, is to stand trial on cocaine possession charges in the US. Christopher Lane, 30, Cameron Douglas’s companion, shares the charges of possession of a controlled substance and possession of a hypodermic needle. An extra charge of being under the influence of a controlled substance was added for Mr. Douglas.

A Santa Barbara County Sheriff’s deputy says Mr. Douglas and Mr. Lane were found in a car near a motel on 22 July. Deputy James McKarrell, the only witness at the hearing, said he and another deputy found a syringe on the car floorboard with liquid cocaine in it. The deputy said Mr. Lane claimed ownership of the syringe, and both men were arrested. But Mr. Douglas’s lawyer, Juan Huerta, said Mr. McKarrell failed to do his job by not testing the two men for sobriety. Superior Court Judge Joseph Lodge upheld the charges at a pre-trial hearing. The men are due to make their first court appearance for the case on 16 November.

[From the BBC]

Well that must be quite the feather in their father’s cap. Michael Douglas recently described his close relationship with his two young kids with Catherine Zeta Jones as very close. “I go to school events and recitals and all that stuff. I pick them up after school. I love it. It keeps me out of trouble. We spend a lot of time together as a family unit.” Let’s hope he’s as close to Cameron, and will get him some help. I’m no drug expert, but I’m pretty sure liquid anything is a really, really bad idea.

Picture note by Jaybird: Here’s Cameron at the “It Runs In The Family” premiere in April 2003. Image thanks to PR Photos. Header image at the “A father… A son… Once upon a time in Hollywood” premiere in July 2005. Images thanks to WENN. Inset image of Douglas’s booking photo.

              

20 October 2007 | | No Comments

I always knew Jerry Seinfeld was funny, but I had no clue he was that funny. The man behind the show about nothing actually says that Scientology made him a better comedian – and not because it’s all so ridiculous that it makes for good material. For once, Jerry is being pretty serious, and says that he took some Scientology courses on communication, and they helped him with his act. Once in a blue moon… someone will say something about Scientology and not mock them. I just didn’t think it be coming from a comedian.

Bee Movie star Jerry Seinfeld says that studying Scientology made him a better performer — and not because it gave him some good material. The 53-year-old comedian tells Parade magazine that a teacher in high school turned him onto the religion almost 30 years ago. “It was interesting. Believe it or not…it’s extremely intellectual and clinical in its approach to problem-solving, which really appealed to me.” Though Seinfeld has not continued with Scientology, he tells Parade that it helped him get his start in comedy. “In my early years of stand-up, it was very helpful. I took a couple of courses. One of them was in communication, and I learned some things about communication that really got my act going.”

Could the same be said for the rest of Scientology’s Hollywood devotees? The Church counts musician Beck, John Travolta, and of course, Tom Cruise, among its members. Seinfeld explains that as an entertainer, Scientology “really helped me onstage to understand how you have to invade the space of the audience a little bit…Not too much, because then it’s obnoxious. But you can’t be short of them either, or you won’t control them.” Another draw for Seinfeld — the gadgets. “They have a lot of very good technology,” he tells Parade. “That’s what really appealed to me about it. It’s not faith-based. It’s all technology. And I’m obsessed with technology.”

[From Us Magazine]

He has an interesting point, in that Scientology is the only religion I can think of that isn’t based just on faith, it’s based on technology. Notice that I said technology, not science. I would argue that it is still faith-based, as I don’t think there’s any technology that reaches Xenu – though I can’t swear to it.

Picture note by Jaybird: Speaking of great Scientology technology, here’s the Hubbard Electrometer, also known as the e-meter. According to Wikipedia: “An E-meter is an electronic device manufactured by the Church of Scientology at their Gold Base production facility. It is used as an aid by Dianetics and Scientology counselors and counselors-in-training in some forms of auditing, the application of the techniques of Dianetics and Scientology to another or to oneself for the express purpose of addressing spiritual issues. A 1971 ruling of the United States District Court, District of Columbia (333 F. Supp. 357), specifically stated, “The E-meter has no proven usefulness in the diagnosis, treatment or prevention of any disease, nor is it medically or scientifically capable of improving any bodily function.” Header image of Jerry doing some funny (mildly degrading in a good way) promotion for “Bee Movie.”

Update By Celebitchy: He’s just licking Tom Cruise’s ass. (That wording is deliberate, and I wanted to make it more explicit, but you get the point.) Scientology is a cult and a sham and you’re better off buying any dimestore psychology book from the last 50 years than taking a single one of their courses and becoming a target with a dollar sign on your head. If I didn’t hate the Seinfelds enough after Jessica ripped off that cookbook, they just gave me another reason.

Maybe some personal information about Seinfeld got “audited” and he doesn’t want it released by the Scientologists, they routinely blackmail people like that, or maybe he wants Tom Cruise to greenlight the movie project his wife comes up with once she’s exposed as a fraud and a plagiarist. Either way, he could have paid $50 to see a shrink for one session or picked up a Carl Rogers book and gained infinitely more personal insight. (Those references are deliberately dated because he said it was in the 70s.)

I wonder if the Scientology “organization” gave Jerry and Jessica access to one of their exclusive vacation resorts reserved for celebrities in exchange for this comment. They once planted an entire field of wheat using slave labor to help Tom Cruise woo Nicole Kidman.

It makes me sick that he would say this. Scientology is a cult that ruins lives. It should not have tax free status as a religion in the US and when celebrities make idiotic statements that imply that its benign and helpful they end up sucking in thousands more hapless victims.

Here is more information about how Scientology gets celebrity endorsements through commissions and luxurious vacations.

              

19 October 2007 | | No Comments

Feast your eyes on Leonardo DiCaprio’s current girlfriend Bar Rafaeli. She’s an Israeli model seen here at the Selmark Lingerie 2008 Spring-Summer show. Leo dumped Gisele Bundchen to start dating Bar and, I don’t want to say it’s the greatest accomplishment in the history of man, but when compared to the invention of the wheel or the printing press, I just have to ask these two so-called “revolutionary ideas,” where are the boobs?

              

19 October 2007 | | No Comments

Tara Reid showed up for the premiere of “Reservation Road” in Beverly Hills last night. She actually looks sort of hot. Which is weird, I know. Underneath all that inexplicable hotness is a sordid tale of plastic surgery gone horribly wrong. But, yet, she looks decent. My penis is so confused right now. He’s just staring out the window, letting out the occasional sigh. Nothing makes sense to him anymore. I tried to get him to go lift up cars like we do every Friday, but he just turned to me and said, “What’s the point? When we’re done, Tara Reid will still be do-able.” *sigh*

              

19 October 2007 | | No Comments

Hunter Tylo, 45, the cosmetically over-enhanced actress who is one of the stars of “The Bold and the Beautiful” and was a cast member (though she never filmed any scenes) of “Melrose Place” - lost her son yesterday. Michael Tylo Jr. was 19, and drowned in a pool in the evening.

The Clark County [Nevada] Coroner tells TMZ 19-year-old Michael Tylo, Jr. drowned and was pronounced dead at 11:55 PM last night. Michael went by the nickname Mickey. The police were initially called to the house at 10:18 PM to respond to a report of a deceased male in a pool. We’re told the matter is currently under investigation and that toxicology reports have been requested.

Hunter has endured much tragedy in her life, as her youngest daughter Katya was diagnosed with retinoblastoma, and was forced to have her eye removed and replaced by a glass eye.

Hunter was also involved in a very high profile lawsuit against Aaron Spelling, after she was fired from “Melrose Place” for being pregnant (with daughter Izabella). She won a nearly $5 million judgment from the producer.

A rep for “Bold and the Beautiful,” on which Hunter has been a cast member on and off for 16 years, would not comment.

[From TMZ]

That’s incredibly sad. Hunter has had a lot of misfortune in her life. Wikipedia noted that, “Due to her time on The Bold and the Beautiful, Tylo splits her time between her family home in Nevada and Los Angeles, California, where the show is taped four days a week.” So thought the article didn’t specifically say Michael drowned in his own home, I think that’s likely what happened. We’ll update the story as more information comes out.

              

19 October 2007 | | No Comments

Kate Moss has really gross legs [I’m Not Obsessed]
Your Afternoon Cheeto (aka Britney) Report! [Dlisted]
Blast From the Past: “Kid Dynomite” [Bossip]
Ben Affleck’s “Gone Baby Gone” review [Pajiba]
Lunch with Lauren Holly [Celebslam]
Avril Still Sucks Infinity Plus One [Yeeeah!]
Daily Dose of Kim Kardashian Today w/ Booty Shot! … because that never happens [The Bastardly]
Katie Holmes and Suri out for a walk in New York City [In Case You Didn’t Know]
Hilary Duff’s Ass at the Latin Music Awards (site NSFW) [Drunken Stepfather]
Donatella Versace and Iggy Pop at the Swarovski Fashion Rocks Gala in London [Hollywood Rag]
Posh Spice getting a new look? [Seriously? OMG! WTF?]
Vanessa Hudgens Doesn’t Regret Those Nude Pictures At All [Agent Bedhead]
Lindsay Lohan does some side boob shopping [The Blemish]
Lindsay Lohan’s Boob Handler - yeah there’s a lot of Lohan boob today [Cityrag]
Random celeb Photos [Crazy Days and Nights]
Victoria and Mel B Are Ready to Spice up Your Life [Popsugar]
Adriana Lima Needs a Strip Search [The Grumpiest]
Paris Hilton Is Gonna Live Forever, Learn How To Fly [CelebNewsWire]
Don’t bother the Clintons [Evil Beet]
Naomi Watts Praises ‘Solid Undergarments’ [CelebWarship]
Uma Thurman Has Nipples [I Don’t Like You In That Way]
Anna Nicole Lessons From Beyond The Grave [Glitterati Gossip]
Jason Lee & Son Pilot Inspektor At Fashion Week [Celebrity Baby Scoop]
Martha Stewart rides a stallion [Popbytes]
Tom Cruise, the Tiny Emperor Of Outer Space Likes Meryl Streep [A Socialite’s Life]
Thandie Newton @ Great Wall of China [Just Jared]
First sub for Hasselbeck named [Lifeline Live]
You Know It’s Hard Out Here For A James Lipton [Best Week Ever]

              

19 October 2007 | | No Comments

Once in a while, I enjoy feeling superior to others. Don’t we all? Okay maybe more than once in a while. But let’s be honest, it’s especially satisfying to feel superior to famous people. Not the famous people that are running your country (because you generally want to believe that they’re smarter than you) but actors, singers, those types of famous people. So with that, we bring you the top 10 dumbest celebrity quotes. That’s right, you can puff up your chest with pride now.

Christina Aguilera
Quote: “So, where’s the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?”

Ivana Trump
Quote: “Fiction writing is great. You can make up almost anything.”

Jessica Simpson
Quote: “I’m not anorexic. I’m from Texas. Are there people from Texas that are anorexic? I’ve never heard of one. And that includes me.”

Tara Reid
Quote: “I make Jessica Simpson look like a rock scientist.”

Dan Quayle
Quote: “The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation’s history. I mean in this century’s history. But we all lived in this century. I didn’t live in this century.”

Alicia Silverstone
Quote: “I think that the film ‘Clueless’ was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it’s true lightness”

Linda Evangelista
Quote: “It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren’t, then I’d be a school teacher.”

George Bush
Quote: “I have opinions of my own, strong opinions, but I don’t always agree with them”

Brooke Shields
Quote: “Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life”

Arnold Schwarzenegger
Quote: “I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman”

[From Mr. Sock Monkey via Digg]

Now don’t you feel a little better about yourself? To be fair, it’s not easy to pick just one dumb George Bush quote. Tomes have been written on the dumb shit that comes out of that man’s mouth. But I digress. It’s nice to know that even smart people (ie Brooke Shields) can say incredibly dumb stuff.

              

19 October 2007 | | No Comments

A while ago Jay-Z said that he would retire… then put out two albums. Kind of a mixed message there. Now the rapper and business mogul says he wished he’d kept his mouth shut about the whole thing. In the future, he says he won’t announce he’s retiring, he’ll just stop putting out albums, and after a few years people will realize he’s retired. I guess his theory being that way, if he changes his mind before people notice, no one will call him on it. Sounds like a fine logic to me.

Wait a minute, didn’t Jay-Z say he was retiring TWO albums ago? “I want to never say that again,” the 37-year-old rap mogul says in XXL magazine’s new issue. “Just make the albums, man. And if one day people wake up and it’s four years later, and you haven’t made another, they go, ‘Wait a minute, you’re retired!’ I think that’s best for me.”

“I think I pulled the retirement ripcord too many times. People looking at me like, ‘Please shut up.’ I was looking at (his retirement movie) Fade to Black the other day. I was embarrassed. I couldn’t watch. I’m not playing with you. I had to turn it off,” he says. “I was cringing.”

[From USA Today]

I’ve found it’s generally better to just do something than to announce you’re doing it. That way, no one notices if you don’t do it. Sneaky, huh? Jay-Z also talked about rapper Lil Wayne, who declared himself the “greatest rapper alive” after Jay-Z retired. Probably not the smartest move dude.

Jay’s new project is an album about his hustling days, inspired by the upcoming film American Gangster. That places him in competition with hot rappers of the moment — like Lil Wayne, who after Jay “retired” proclaimed himself the “greatest rapper alive. I think Lil Wayne is extremely talented,” Jay says. “I think he’s one of the most talented ones out there. I mean, even more so how his delivery is than what he says. I don’t think some of the things he says sometimes are the greatest things, but the way he delivers it, that’s part of it.”

“But do I think me and Lil Wayne should be in the same sentence? Me? No,” Jay says. “I mean, hopefully one day. He has to accumulate work. Put some classics under his belt.” A superstar girlfriend like Beyonce wouldn’t hurt as an equalizer. “I think people are only interested in (a relationship) three times: When you get together, when you break up, and when you have a baby,” Jay says. “They don’t have good intentions. People just want to manipulate the situation to benefit them. I think relationships are broken up because of the media.”

[From USA Today]

I always enjoy a nice “Blame-the-media-for-whatever’s-going-wrong-in-your-life” quote. When in doubt, it’s always a failsafe, and people nod along and agree. I could maybe see blaming the paparazzi, because having 50 people following you around all day has got to put a crimp in your romance. But the media itself is a pretty broad category, and I’m sure if someday you decide to break up with Beyonce, I didn’t have anything to do with it. But I’m guessing Celebitchy did. She’s duplicitous like that.

              

19 October 2007 | | No Comments

Britney Spears stood up her parenting coach again who is finally fed up with the singer’s behavior. This latest development adds to Britney’s legal problems in her ongoing custody battle. Yesterday Britney lost visitation rights with her kids because she couldn’t supply a contact number to the people handling her drug tests. TMZ reports:

Sources say Britney had a scheduled time to meet the coach yesterday at her Malibu home. The coach made the trek, but no Britney.

We’re told during the hearing earlier this week, the coach phoned in and asked the Commissioner if she could end the home visits, presumably because they were going nowhere.

So far, in order to keep her kids, Britney Spears has been unable to supply her phone number and be at her own house at a designated time. I could train a freaking chimp to do both those things – while juggling a chainsaw! Actually, that’s not really fair, because I could train a chimp to do a lot of things Britney does. For example: drive a car somewhat safely, eat a Chalupa, flash its genitals and, given an extra week or so, make a Top 40 pop album.